Daniel Gulati,
from The Huffington Post, apparently interviewed 100 young people between the
ages of 25 and 35. Yes, that is not exactly what I would call an
scientific sample size either. Nonetheless, Gulati asked these young people
what they regretted the most. At the end of it all, he got some pretty deep
answers. The introspection went something along the lines of these five
most common regrets:
1. I wish I was doing something useful
Without a doubt, the overarching regret of the people I surveyed centered around their life's purpose. With the natural excitement of their first jobs now muted, many were staring down the barrel of a career in corporate America ("Five years down, 35 to go," one quipped) or somewhere else in business. Accordingly, many concluded that their jobs, and indeed their lives, did not serve a purpose beyond the mere superficial. When I dug deeper, "doing something useful" often meant "doing something useful for other people." This regret was so common that it seemed fundamental.
Without a doubt, the overarching regret of the people I surveyed centered around their life's purpose. With the natural excitement of their first jobs now muted, many were staring down the barrel of a career in corporate America ("Five years down, 35 to go," one quipped) or somewhere else in business. Accordingly, many concluded that their jobs, and indeed their lives, did not serve a purpose beyond the mere superficial. When I dug deeper, "doing something useful" often meant "doing something useful for other people." This regret was so common that it seemed fundamental.
2. I wish I didn't waste so much time
earlier in life
In a surprising finding, many young people desperately wanted to turn back the clock to their "even younger" years. Most referred back to their college days as time spent socializing, partying and, as one put it, "experiencing the edges of life." Looking back, many perceived this era as lost setup time. There was a feeling that, knowing what they do now, many would actually use all their college years as a platform for something other than what they were currently doing. Showered with endless free time and world-class resources around campus, this was a lost opportunity to do something, as one put it, "Zuckerberg-great."
In a surprising finding, many young people desperately wanted to turn back the clock to their "even younger" years. Most referred back to their college days as time spent socializing, partying and, as one put it, "experiencing the edges of life." Looking back, many perceived this era as lost setup time. There was a feeling that, knowing what they do now, many would actually use all their college years as a platform for something other than what they were currently doing. Showered with endless free time and world-class resources around campus, this was a lost opportunity to do something, as one put it, "Zuckerberg-great."
3. I wish I had I travelled more
Having earned the disposable income to travel overseas, many recounted with delight stories of offshore adventures. Some boasted of exciting relationships forged across continents, and almost everyone wanted to rack up more mileage than they had been able to. But, with many now married or in long-term relationships, their short-term focus has turned to spending time with their spouses, with many planning for their first or second child. With those overseas adventures on the backburner for the next five to 10 years, it was obvious that some still hadn't quite shaken the travel bug.
Having earned the disposable income to travel overseas, many recounted with delight stories of offshore adventures. Some boasted of exciting relationships forged across continents, and almost everyone wanted to rack up more mileage than they had been able to. But, with many now married or in long-term relationships, their short-term focus has turned to spending time with their spouses, with many planning for their first or second child. With those overseas adventures on the backburner for the next five to 10 years, it was obvious that some still hadn't quite shaken the travel bug.
4. I wish I was physically fit
Building solid careers and relationships takes time, and for many, physical fitness was an early casualty. Some young men and women recounted their "glory days" on the high school football field or basketball court, and those who weren't gym class heroes simply wished they had taken better care of their bodies as they rage towards the middle of their lives. Physical fitness, many argued, was all-pervasive: By maintaining it, you held the key to a better work life and a better life at home. The oft-cited enemy? "After-work drinks."
Building solid careers and relationships takes time, and for many, physical fitness was an early casualty. Some young men and women recounted their "glory days" on the high school football field or basketball court, and those who weren't gym class heroes simply wished they had taken better care of their bodies as they rage towards the middle of their lives. Physical fitness, many argued, was all-pervasive: By maintaining it, you held the key to a better work life and a better life at home. The oft-cited enemy? "After-work drinks."
5. I wish I learned to live in the moment
Many of those in the room were taught all their lives to set goals, work hard to achieve them, only to then set a still higher bar. In the process of living a life looking forward, many felt they had lost the capacity to look down and enjoy the moments that today's life presents. Many recounted days when time seemed to move slower, "days where you could just sit in the backyard all afternoon." But those days, too many, seemed all but over, after the skill of living in the moment had long left them.
Many of those in the room were taught all their lives to set goals, work hard to achieve them, only to then set a still higher bar. In the process of living a life looking forward, many felt they had lost the capacity to look down and enjoy the moments that today's life presents. Many recounted days when time seemed to move slower, "days where you could just sit in the backyard all afternoon." But those days, too many, seemed all but over, after the skill of living in the moment had long left them.
So, what do
you regret the most? Which of the five above do you find relating to the
easiest? It may be possible to regret nothing, but how do you cope with
regretful thoughts?
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